SNL's Black Friday Stampede Sketch

SNL's Black Friday Stampede Sketch: "


SNL this week did a pretty good parody of Black Friday madness with this madcap fake ad for 'Mega-Mart.' 'Your shopping gorge can only be stopped by one thing: boxes! So everyone in our Mega-Mart 12 minute frenzy will get a free boxcutter at the door!'


It starts off looking like a normal ad, then progressively heightens as the store adds more and more bonus gamechangers, prizes, and contents that endanger customer's lives.


What makes it really special, and disturbing, is that it used actual footage of stampedes and tramplelings inside Walmart during Black Fridays from years past. Shop till you drop!

Keeping Up With The Kardashian Kard's Hidden Fees

Keeping Up With The Kardashian Kard's Hidden Fees: "

Keeping up with the Kardashians comes at a cost. The reality show star is pimping a new prepaid debit card targeted at kids that is as bursting with hidden fees as Kim's shirt, featured prominently on the plastic, is bursting with integrity. Yeah, I think using sex to sell hidden fees to kids is pretty messed up. Just take a look at all these fees:

Kardashian Prepaid MasterCard
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 6 months) $59.95
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 12 months) $99.95
Monthly Fee (Applies after initial purchase period) $7.95
Card Replacement - Primary or Companion $9.95
ATM Withdrawal - Domestic $1.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - Domestic $1.00
ATM Withdrawal - International $2.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - International $2.00
Point of Sale - Decline -Domestic $1.00
Point of Sale - Decline - International $1.00
External Checking or Savings Transfer (To/From) $1.00
Account to Account Transfer * $1.00
Retail Load Fee (MoneyGram) $1.00
Load Account by Debit/Credit Card ** $1.00
Cancel Account - Request Balance Mailed by Check $6.00
Service Center Care-Live operator $1.50
Bill Pay - Per Item $2.00
Replacement Card Expedite Fee (Overnight) $25.00
* Fee for transferring money from external accounts and to other cardholder accounts
** 2.5% surcharge of transaction amount applies

If you're looking for a more convenient, and instructive, way to let kids use their allowance, something like USAA's Teen Checking, or Wells Fargo teen checking, is a better way to go. Your local credit union may have good options as well. Kids need bank accounts, not prepaid fee magnets."

Teens Busted For Selling Cupcakes Without A License

Teens Busted For Selling Cupcakes Without A License: "

In news that's reminiscent of the Oregon Lemonade Stand Scandal of 2010, two 13-year-olds in New York state had their baked goods business shut down by police for operating without a license.

The two teens had been selling cupcakes, cookies, brownies and other things that are making me really, really hungry right now, for $1 each in a park in Chappaqua, NY, when a local politician ratted them out to authorities for operating sans permit.

Says the mom of one of the teens:

The police officer was extremely pleasant. He said he was sorry to have to do this, but that he was following up on a report filed over the phone by a Town Board member... [My son] was so upset, he was crying all the whole way home. He was worried if he was going to get arrested or have a criminal record.

The Scrooge-like politico who dropped a dime on the teens says rules are rules: 'All vendors selling on town property have to have a license, whether it's boys selling baked goods or a hot dog vendor.'

When asked why he didn't just approach the boys and tell them they needed the license, Mr. Wet Blanket said, 'In hindsight, maybe I should have done that, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do that... The police are trained to deal with these sorts of issues.'

New Castle councilman calls cops on boys' cupcake sale [LoHud.com]

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Buy A Truck, Get A Free AK-47

Buy A Truck, Get A Free AK-47: "

A used truck dealer in Florida, birthplace of dreams, is offering an interesting promotion. Buy a truck and get an assault rifle thrown in the back for free.

Buyers have to pass a background check first. The $400 voucher can be used towards a different kind of gun if they want, or they can get it as cash-back. The dealership says that business has more than doubled since the promo went into effect on Veteran's Day.

The owner told the AP, 'My buyer is absolutely a gun owner, no question.'

Guess it pays to know your audience!

Fla. dealership offers free AK-47 for truck buyers [Associated Press]

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San Francisco Mayor Vetoes Happy Meal 'Ban'

San Francisco Mayor Vetoes Happy Meal 'Ban': "

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom has made good on his earlier promises that he would veto the recently passed kids meal ban (which isn't actually a ban, but new regulations that would effectively ban most kids meals from being sold in the city as they are currently configured).

Says Mayor McCheese:

Parents, not politicians, should decide what their children eat, especially when it comes to spending their own money... Despite its good intentions, I cannot support this unwise and unprecedented governmental intrusion into parental responsibilities and private choices.

Unless a large number of the city's Board of Supervisors, who approved the measure by a vote of 8-3, change their mind, it's likely that Newsom's veto is all for naught, as the Board has enough votes to override his decision.

His rep says the mayor is hoping the Board will have a change of heart:

He hopes some members will reconsider should it be put up for an override... One of the eight is not entirely comfortable with it and some of them are getting heat as this thing is being mocked around the world.

Mayor vetoes San Francisco ban on Happy Meals with toys [CNN]

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Police Raid Spencer Gifts, Confiscate 'Sex-Related' Products

Police Raid Spencer Gifts, Confiscate 'Sex-Related' Products: "

We hadn't been in a Spencer Gifts (aka Spencer's) since Color Me Badd was lighting up the charts, but our memories of the mall-based stores are of goofy bachelor party gag gifts and posters of bikini-clad women. The authorities in Rapid City, SD, believe the store is an unlicensed 'adult-oriented business' and on Monday the police seized boxes containing around 2,000 'sex-related' products.

Though the Spencer's in the Rushmore Mall had been in business since 1979, it was only in the last year that someone got around to filing a complaint with the city, which then sent letters demanding the store be in line with regulations regarding adult-oriented businesses.

And then, according to the Rapid City Journal, on Monday, the police showed up with a search warrant:

The search warrant... allowed officers to seize all merchandise designed for use during sexual activity, books, films or other visual representations of sexual activity or anatomical areas, novelty items depicting genitals or exposed female breasts and packaging of items depicting sexual activity or anatomical areas, according to court documents.

The city attorney told the paper that he anticipates filing charges soon based on the evidence seized during the raid.

One point of contention is just how much of Spencer's stock is actually adult-oriented. Local regulations say that businesses can sell adult merchandise without a license as long as it does not make up a 'substantial or significant portion of its stock.' Various courts have defined substantial to mean anywhere from 20-50%.

A lawyer for Spencer's says that adult material only made up 5% of the items on sale at the Rapid City store.

If Spencer's is found to have been operating an adult-oriented business without a license, the owner could be looking at a $200 fine and 30 days in jail for every day a business fails to register.

Spencer's could face criminal charges; more than 2,000 products confiscated [Rapid City Journal]

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Microsoft, Sony Pay GameStop To Upsell You Downloadable Add-On Codes

Microsoft, Sony Pay GameStop To Upsell You Downloadable Add-On Codes: "

GameStop employees now have more than just pre-orders, strategy guides and loyalty cards to pressure unsuspecting customers into buying. The game dealer has moved into selling downloadable content cards, and revealed it's getting a cut of the action, given it more incentive to convince players their games aren't complete without an extra map pack.

Joystiq reports the company's head chair explained to attendees of the BMO Capital Markets Digital Entertainment Conference:

'I won't get into the details of the agreements, but obviously we get paid for selling the digital content. We get paid less than what we would get paid for a typical new game [retail game], because we don't have inventory carrying costs, shipping costs, etc. But needless to say, we believe it will bring operating margins similar to new games.

If you shop at GameStop, what types of pitches have you gotten from employees to buy DLC?

GameStop details a bright (profitable) future with DLC [Joystiq]

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TBS Makes Conan Episodes Available For Free Online

TBS Makes Conan Episodes Available For Free Online: "

For the Conan fans out there who don't feel like ponying up for basic cable, TBS has decided to post every episode of his new show online the day after it airs.

While Conan's old network NBC makes both Jay Leno's and Jimmy Fallon's late night chatter fests available online, TBS had not been doing the same for its Lopez Tonight talk show, which moved to midnight to make room for Conan's new show.

But with much time and money invested in promoting Conan, the network is making sure it's seen by as many people as possible (though only U.S. web users will have access to full episodes).

From a statement on TeamCoco.com:

Clips of our show WILL be available to everyone on Earth! Provided you have a computer and an internet connection, of course. Ha ha. We ain't gonna be transcribing our show and dropping leaflets into the jungles of South America, after all.

TBS has already posted last night's premiere episode -- which featured the masturbating bear -- here.

Full 'Conan' episodes to be available online [Reuters]

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SunChips Canada To Noisy Bag Haters: Here's Free Earplugs

SunChips Canada To Noisy Bag Haters: Here's Free Earplugs: "

Unlike their lilly-livered counterparts to the south, Sun Chips Canada has decided to hold the line on their jet-engine loud biodegradable bags. Instead of caving to detractors, they're offering them free earplugs.

'Our bag is loud, our bag is different, our bag is good for the environment, and our bag will remain on store shelves,' says the company. They've also launched a public awareness campaign, starting with this informational video:



Hopefully they'll also be making a series telling people about how to make their compost piles, too. The bags advertise that they'll break down in 9 weeks, but you'll need a much more intense compost pile than most people have the time or care to make.

You'll want your compost pile to preferably over 130 degrees and at least 21 cubic feet. SunChips's instructional PDF recommends a recipe of the following to create optimal conditions:

1 part food scraps (greens)

2 parts leaves (browns)

2 parts grass (greens)

2 parts hay (browns)

1 part finished compost (a bacterial activator to start the composting process)

Still, even if you have to wait a few more months for the bag to decompose, that's a lot faster than a traditional chip bag, which will take hundreds of years to break down, and even then will only be a fine grain of plastic dust.

Know what's even more annoying that a noisy bag? A planet full of garbage.

SunChips to complaining consumers: 'Yeah, compostable bag is noisy - get over it' [Sustainable Food News]

Do Sunchips 'compostable' bags really decompose in a compost pile? [Examiner]

PREVIOUSLY

Were 'Biodegradable' Sun Chips Bags Not So Biodegradable?

Unbearably Noisy Biodegradable SunChips Bag Terminated

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Who Is The First Moron To Break His TV With The Kinect?

Who Is The First Moron To Break His TV With The Kinect?: "

All those shattered TVs and cut-up hands that resulted when the Nintendo Wii first came on the scene sorta made sense. People were flailing their limbs around holding a plastic controller with a flimsy strap. But the new Kinect motion-sensing system for the Xbox 360 should have cut down on at least some of the damage done by removing the controller completely. And yet, some moron in Arizona has already ruined a perfectly good TV with his recklessness.

Over on his blog, the moronic moron writes:

A public service announcement: Do not under any circumstances play Kinect Sports Volleyball at 1:30 a.m. while standing under a ceiling fan with a dangling chain for a light switch. You could conceivably spike it into your year-old amazing TV, causing it to die with a rainbow LCD teardrop dripping down from the impact wound.

Plus you'll lose the match by forfeit.

When reached by Consumerist for comment, the moron said, 'It's fine. If there is a time to volleyball spike the shit out of your TV it's November.'

Yes, I Am The First Moron To Break His TV With Kinect [BecauseItoldyouso]

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Most "Close Door" Buttons Don't Work, And Most Office Thermostats Are Fakes

Most "Close Door" Buttons Don't Work, And Most Office Thermostats Are Fakes: "

You can stop pounding on the 'Close Door' button on the elevator. They're not there for you. Turns out that most of them don't work unless you've a maintenance person or fireman with the special access key inserted. It's just one of several different 'placebo buttons' placed around our world that only give us the illusion of control.

Walk buttons? In Manhattan they're totally useless, as the New York Times reported in 2004. And most office thermostats are dummies, not connected to any system at all. In 2003 the WSJ detailed how they're just installed by HVAC guys who are sick of office workers calling them up and complaining about the temperature.

To get around this, some NASA engineers described how they tweak the temperature, like:

* Getting ahold of the special wrenches to undo thermostat covers

* For heat, strapping bags of ice water to the sensors

* For cold, holding lamps or monitors up to the thermostat

* Getting a ladder, popping through the drop ceiling, and adjusting the dampers for more cold

Crazy! Next thing you'll be telling me this button in the coffee break room that says 'Get Raise' isn't functional.

Employees Only Think They Control Thermostat [WSJ via Futility Closet]

For Exercise in New York Futility, Push Button [NYT via Futility Closet]

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Cops Catch ATM Napkin Scammer

Cops Catch ATM Napkin Scammer: "

San Francisco PD have caught a crook using an ingeniously low-fi method to rip people off ATMs: napkins.

A merchant on Divisadero Street tipped the cops off after he spied the crook stuffing napkins up into ATM cash dispenser slots. When people tried to take cash out, it would get stuck up behind the napkins. After they walked away frustrated, the guy just strolled over, reached up into the slot, and dislodged the napkins, and walked away with their cash.

According to the police, the man who lived in the Tenderloin district of San Fran, is a serial napkin stuffer. He was charged with burglary. After they arrested him, cops found another ATM stuffed with napkins close by.

So if you go to withdraw money from an ATM and it doesn't come out, don't just finger around in the try, also reach up into the slot and see if there's anything stuck there. After that, try to take a cellphone picture of the ATM screen for evidence and then call the number on the ATM for service. (If the ATM is in a bank, you of course should just go inside and ask for help.)

Cops catch crook in ATM scam [Law & Disorder] (Thanks to Rachel!)

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Dodgers Forget They Left Brooklyn In 1957, Sue Brooklyn Burger Over Logo

Dodgers Forget They Left Brooklyn In 1957, Sue Brooklyn Burger Over Logo: "

Fifty-three years ago, the Dodgers told the borough of Brooklyn to shove it its nose with a rubber hose and lit out for the warmer climes of Los Angeles. Now they've returned -- well, at least their lawyers have -- to file a lawsuit against a local burger company for daring to use a similar font and the word 'Brooklyn.'

The L.A. Dodgers (note: L.A., as in 3,000 miles away) have filed suit against the owner of Brooklyn Burger because they think the logo and name would somehow, possibly in some world, confuse people into thinking the burger company was associated with a team that hasn't existed in over half a century.

The Brooklyn Burger logo was actually approved for trademark back in April, and yet the Dodgers have just filed their official complaint with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

Brooklyn Burger's lawyer tells Gothamist that the whole thing is just stupid:

People who see [Brooklyn Burger's logo] in Brooklyn aren't going to think the Brooklyn Dodgers are selling hamburgers... It's crazy for the Los Angeles Dodgers to claim exclusive rights to the word 'Brooklyn.'

If you check out the Brooklyn Burger site, you'll see that the company is actually the official meat patty provider for a Brooklyn baseball team -- the minor league Cyclones in Coney Island.

Let's just hope this lawsuit gets thrown out before Brooklyn Burger is forced to move to the west coast.

L.A. Dodgers Sue Over Brooklyn Burger Logo [Gothamist]

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TSA Officer Pretended To Find Cocaine In Flyers' Bags

TSA Officer Pretended To Find Cocaine In Flyers' Bags: "

The Smoking Gun has procured internal TSA memos about the security officer who was fired after pulling jokes on travelers by pretending to find cocaine in their luggage.

It turns out the powder was creatine that the officer was supposed to be using to test new bomb detection equipment.

One of the of the incident reports is from a fellow officer who saw what happened:

On Jan 5th, 2010, I observed BAO [redacted] approach a female passenger on lane #7. He showed her a small clear plastic bag which contained white powder. He told her that he found this bag amongst her property in the x-ray bin and he believed the white powder was cocaine.

The female passenger [redacted] was surprised to hear this as she denied ever using drugs. She also stated that she had no idea how the plastic bag got mixed in with her property.

BAO [redacted] told her that she did not have to lie to him and asked her again as to why her property would have this plastic bag. She vehemently denied having the plastic bag in her property. Once BAO [redacted] realized that she was getting upset, he told her it was a hook and she would have to admit that it was funny. She said it was not funny but was rather cruel and unprofessional o him to do this.

Once the female passenger left the checkpoint (D/E), I informed ST30 [redacted] of my observation of this incident.Pretty screwed up abuse of power. Also screwed up? Out of the six workers interviewed, this was the only one who reported the incident to a supervisor.

Memos Detail TSA Officer's Cocaine Pranks [The Smoking Gun]

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San Francisco Bans Happy Meals [Happy Meals]

San Francisco Bans Happy Meals [Happy Meals]: "

San Francisco has done the unthinkable. Not win the World Series. It's effectively banned happy meals. More »

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McDonald's Boss Tells Employees To Vote For His Candidates Or Risk Losing Pay Raises & Benefits

McDonald's Boss Tells Employees To Vote For His Candidates Or Risk Losing Pay Raises & Benefits: "

The owner of a McDonald's restaurant in Canton, OH, may have gone a little too far in attempting to get out the vote for the candidates he supports in tomorrow's election when he placed notes in his employees' pay envelopes saying their pay and benefits were at risk if certain nominees didn't win.

The pamphlet included with the staffers' pay was in support of three candidates up for election. It said, 'If the right people are elected, we will be able to continue with raises and benefits at or above the current levels. If others are elected, we will not.'

A rep at McDonald's HQ tells the NY Times that the owner's decision to distribute the pamphlets in his employees' pay was an 'unfortunate lapse in judgment' on the owner's part and that 'he's disappointed with himself.'

Through the corporate rep, the eatery owner released a statement saying, 'For those that I have offended, I sincerely apologize.'

The owner's decision to hand out the pamphlets the way he did might have violated a 1953 Ohio statute that prohibits political material from being attached to wage envelopes.

McDonald's Workers Are Told Whom to Vote for [NY Times]

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Study: Higher Minimum Wage Doesn't Increase Unemployment

Study: Higher Minimum Wage Doesn't Increase Unemployment: "

A new study shows that increased minimum wage does not increase unemployment.

Over a 16-year period, the study looked at counties that were located across the border

from another county that had a minimum wage increase. Instead of increasing unemployment, the study found that higher wages decreased worker turnover. That's good for both employers and employees.

Here's a transcript of an interview with one of the study's authors.

MINIMUM WAGE EFFECTS ACROSS STATE BORDERS: ESTIMATES USING CONTIGUOUS COUNTIES (PDF) via Economix

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Man Dies After Ingesting Enough Caffeine For 70 Energy Drinks

Man Dies After Ingesting Enough Caffeine For 70 Energy Drinks: "

A 23-year-old man in the UK has passed away after he reportedly ingested 'spoonfuls' of powdered caffeine at a party.

A statement on the caffeine's packaging says to not ingest more than 1/16 of a teaspoon, but according to testimony given at the inquest, the man swallowed spoonfuls of the caffeine -- the equivalent of 70 cans of energy drink. He became ill within a matter of minutes.

'He was puking up blood and he was sweating really bad,' one friend testified. Others said he became incoherent and his speech was slurred.

While police have said there were no suspicious circumstances and the deceased was not acting illegally, the local coroner criticized both the availability and labeling of the powdered caffeine:

Caffeine is so freely available on the internet for £3.29 [$5.27] but it's so lethal if taken in the wrong dose and here we see the consequence...

Who would take [one sixteenth of a teaspoon]? It's such a small dosage, the warning is so small on the front of it.

If you're sharing a bag, carrying it around and if you hadn't seen the warning - it could be that anyone at the party could have taken it. It's so dangerous to take something like this.

'Strong caffeine products should be banned' says grandmother of overdose victim [Nottingham Post]

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